The Jester of the Bureau
by DragonsintheMoonlight
Summary: Reid has a secret. He, sorry, she used to be Harley Quinn henchwoman and girlfriend to the Joker. But after joining the Suicide Squad Harley was promised a new life that she worked hard for. Now she finally has it at the Bureau. But will Harley be able to keep her past secret from the team? Or will the Joker come to get her? Harley/Morgan. Past Joker/Harley. Fem!Reid. Harley!Reid.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or Criminal Minds. **

**AN: I got hooked on Criminal Minds a while ago, and right now, Harley Quinn is one of my favorite DC villains. I feel like she isn't really a bad person, just manipulated. She seems to have a more neutral alignment, like Catwoman and the Red Hood, two more of my favorite anti-heroes. I've never written a Harley Quinn fic or a Criminal Minds one, but I thought about it, and decided to try. After all, Harley Quinn was a psychiatrist, and the Bureau team are profilers. I kind of got hooked on Reid when I started watching Criminal Minds, and decided to bend genders and make him a her and really Harley Quinn for this fic. I know it sounds a little weird, but please give it a shot? Pretty please? This will have elements of Joker/Harley, but it's going to be mostly Morgan/Harley, since while Harley still loves the Joker, she is not going back to an abusive relationship. No woman should let herself be treated that way.**

Harley's POV

Sometimes, I can still hear his laugh, a laugh that sent chills down the spines of so many others, but used to light up my face with a smile that could only be rivaled by his own.

I remember falling in love with him… an eighteen-year-old girl, fresh out of college. I'd never had any friends, being a twelve-year-old in high school. I was socially inept; I still am socially inept.

My father left when I was so little… only eight. My mother was never _really _there. She always went off to talk to her 'friends'. I didn't realize that those friends weren't really there until I was six. I had her committed when I was eighteen. I couldn't stay and take care of her, not when I had to work... in Gotham.

I was born in Gotham, but my family moved to Vegas when I was little. I still have the accent though.

Committing my mother was a terrible thing. I know how she feels now, sort of. I was in Arkham so many times. At least the doctors that take care of my mom are nice to her. The Arkham guards were never nice. It was worth it though, because of Pudding.

Oh, _Pudding_… he was… he was…

Abusive. I know that now. I didn't care though. I _never _cared, maybe not even now. I would have done _anything _for him.

So many people speak of how the Joker's laugh would make them scream in terror, but me? I would laugh with him, even now, because I love him.

A few years ago was when I joined the Suicide Squad. I paid my time there and was released back into the real world with a new identity. It's just my first name with my mother's maiden name, but no one would ever put it together. I used to be Doctor Harleen Quinzel, aka Harley Quinn, henchwoman and girlfriend to the Joker… to Pudding.

Now I am Dr. Harleen "Harley" Reid, daughter of Diana Reid, a girl who doesn't know how to use a gun let alone a clown's gun or a mallet, and would probably scream in terror if she saw the Joker, not run up to him and kiss him and tell him that I will always love him, no matter what he does to me.

I know Pudding never really meant to hurt me… he was just angry. So angry. Always angry. The littlest things would set him off, even when I was just trying to make him feel better.

It makes me nervous around men. Morgan, Hotch, Rossi… I was even nervous around Gideon, back before he quit.

I don't think I will ever be able to have another relationship. I still love the Joker, if he told me he loved me… I think I would go back to him, but the thought of being beaten again, by anyone? Granted, I'm pretty sure I am a masochist, but I am tired of being abused.

After all these years, all anyone's ever seen me as is a doll, a doll they can manipulate and arrange in anyway they feel like. Well they are all wrong. Very wrong. I am dangerous; I will show them all just how dark I can be when the time comes.

I may still love my Pudding, but I am done being seen as just a plaything by him and weak and without self-esteem by Ivy. I am done with all of that. I love Mistah J with all my heart, and Ivy was my first ever friend, but I joined the Suicide Squad for a reason: a second chance.

I have that at the Bureau. I just hope it lasts.

**AN: Well? Good? Bad? Should I continue? I'd love it if you'd review.**

**Thanks,**

**-DragonsintheMoonlight**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or Criminal Minds. **_

Harley's POV

Reports… I like doing them. No one understands why, but I like writing up reports and reading through the journals of Unsubs and other things that are similar. I guess it's the psychologist in me, or maybe it's because of how much time I spent with the Joker. I can understand the Unsubs better than anyone else on the team, because once upon a time, I could have been considered an Unsub myself, and my Pudding? The BAU would have a field day trying to get inside his head.

I don't have to try to get inside his head. I already know how the Joker's mind works, and I am one of few who do. Batman and all the Robins and Batgirls know how too.

I never liked it when Mistah J beat up on Robin. Batman I understood, since he and Mistah J were rivals, though I never wanted the Bat dead, but Robin? He was a little kid. I wasn't there when Pudding killed the second Robin, I didn't even know he did until afterwards, but he told me about it.

I felt kind of sick hearing about it, but I laughed because that's what Pudding wanted.

I'm glad the boy came back to life.

Today's the anniversary of when I left Mistah J, just a little bit before I joined the Suicide Squad. Whenever this time of year comes around, I remember all the times I had with the Joker, both good and bad. Whether it was a time when he showed actual affection for me without trying to kill me afterwards, or if it was a time when he would slap me silly for annoying him.

I loved him during both times, even though I probably shouldn't have.

"Hey, Reid," I hear Morgan call.

"Yeah, Morgan?" I ask, suppressing my Gotham accent. I don't want anybody to even associate me with that place here. I am done being Harley Quinn.

"How's the paperwork going?" he asks.

"Great, but if you're going to ask me to do yours-"

"Pretty Girl, how could you think so low of me?" he asks in mock-shock.

"Leave the nicknames for Penelope, Morgan," I say. Nicknames was a thing I did with Pudding; I'm not sure if I'm ready for a nickname with someone else, even if it is just a friend.

"Hey, you're my Pretty Girl, you know that's not going to change," Morgan says. "I merely wanted to know if you had plans for the weekend."

"I never have plans for the weekend," I say. "Don't you know that by now?"

"Reid, you need to get out more," Morgan says, shaking his head with a sigh.

_I think I got out a little _too _much back with Mistah J. _"No thanks, I like staying inside all day and not meeting a bunch of new people while watching Startrek."

I pick up my report to turn it into Hotch, leaving Morgan there staring at me like I am insane. He's not the first to have done that, so it doesn't bother me.

I step into Hotch's office, report in hand as I lay it on his desk.

"Thank you, Reid," he says, looking up from what he was doing.

"You're welcome, Hotch," I say, turning towards the door, thinking of only one thing: the Joker. I remember times when he used to carry me bridal style. He only did it occasionally, but I always loved it when he did. And then when we first met… there were times when he would really make me laugh. Not when he was killing someone, but when he was just being silly with me. His stories when we first met… I don't believe any of them, but I know that I found his antics funny.

"Are you feeling alright, Reid?" Hotch asks me, sounding concerned.

"Yeah," I say, lying. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've seemed off all day," he says.

"I thought we didn't profile each other, sir," I say.

"As long as you're alright," he says.

"Peachy," I say, resisting the urge to skip the rest of my way out of his office.

* * *

><p>I get back to my apartment that evening, trying (and failing) to block the memories from my mind. They're good memories, but they're not good memories. Does that make sense? Oh well, I guess it doesn't really matter, since I was a certified nutso wanted in over a dozen states and hopelessly in love with a psychotic clown.<p>

I hang my purse up on a hook and make my way into my kitchen.

A flash of red catches my eye, and I turn to look at the table.

I move closer to it, seeing a red rose sitting in a vase on the table, a white card sitting next to it.

Shakily, I pick up the card, opening it.

_I'll be seeing you soon, Harley_

_-J_

I drop the card, my heart going a thousand miles a minute.

_Not good._ _I think._

* * *

><p><strong>An: Well, what do you think? Do I write Harley well enough, or are there some pointers anyone could give me to make her better? I'm trying to merge her personality with Reid's, so she appears to act like Reid but sometimes have bits of Harley Quinn flow through. Little bits of perkiness that she always had when she was in love with the Joker, but also the anger she can sometimes have. I loved her quote in the Batman Siren City comics where she said she could be dark and dangerous and that she wasn't just a little doll to be arranged however anyone wanted. I also haven't read the Suicide Squad comics yet, so if I get anything wrong about how that works, I'm sorry. All I know, is that I'm not going to make Harley have had a crush on Deadshot. Until she starts dating Morgan, her only love will have been the Joker.<strong>

**Well, Hotch is suspicious, soon Morgan will be too, and they will be followed by the rest of the team. Meanwhile, poor Harley is just wondering what she's going to do since the Joker's actually found her.**

**Please review!**

**Thanks for reading,**

**-DragonsintheMoonlight :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or Criminal Minds, no matter how much I wish I did.**_

Harley's POV

I gaze at myself in the bathroom mirror at work the next day.

Last night I dreamt of years ago, when I was Harley Quinn still, with the Joker. He was working on a new brand of laughing gas. I was helping him; passing him chemicals he needed, resisting telling him facts about all the different chemicals uses. He didn't like it when I went off on tangents about different things. He would always slap and tell me to shut up.

As I look in the mirror now, my hair is blond, as it was before, my skin is fair, but it's not pale as the dead, and my eyes are a happy light blue.

As Mistah J's henchwoman, I always had my hair in pigtails. One half was dyed black while the other was died red, making me look like a court jester. My skin had been covering in makeup to make me appear as pale as Mistah J. Sometimes I even bleached it. I had coated my eyes with black eye paint. It always made my light blue eyes seem much darker.

I still have the costume, and the face paints, but I never look at them. I'm afraid I'll put them on if I do, because it'll just feel right.

I sigh, leaving the restroom, needing to get back to work.

I sit down at my desk to continue working on reports, when Hotch calls us into the conference room.

I spring up, hiding my excitement. We have another case.

* * *

><p>Morgan's POV<p>

I sit next to Reid in the conference room while Baby Girl shows us the details of the case, giving out ipads with details to everyone but Harley, who looks too excited to have the details on paper.

"In the last four days, four women have been murdered in town," Garcia says. "The first victim, Sara Winters, was found in an ice cream shop. Her throat was cut, severing her carotid artery, and well, she was dressed to look like a clown."

Garcia shows us the image, revealing a blond woman with blue eyes, her face painted and her body clad in a court jester's outfit.

"The next three victims, Leah Cooper, Jane Thompson, and Nicki Jones were all found killed and dressed the same way," Garcia says, pulling up the images.

"Looks like this guy has a clown fetish," I mutter.

"They all look alike," Rossi comments. "All blond, blue eyes, fair skin."

Garcia nods. "Each woman was reported missing a day before she was found killed."

"That means he'll be choosing his next victim today," Hotch says. "Reid, Morgan, I want the two of you to go down to the latest time scene where Nicki Jones was killed. JJ, notify the families. Prentiss, Rossi, come with me. We're going to examine the bodies."

We nod, dispersing in the different directions Hotch sends us in.

I take one look at Harley and even without profiling her, I immediately know she's tense.

"Keep an eye on her," Hotch says, looking at Reid.

"Was just thinking the same thing, sir," I reply.

What could possibly be bothering my Pretty Girl? It's not like we haven't seen worse.

* * *

><p>"So, Pretty Girl," I say as we drive to the magic shop Nicki Jones was found dead in, "are you feeling alright?"<p>

"Huh?" she looks up, startled, her blue eyes wide. I've always noticed how beautiful Harley is, but for some reason, with her blue eyes big and wide right now, she seems a thousand times more gorgeous.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?" she asks. Her voice is tense, timid, not its usual excited chirp as she goes on and on about facts I can't even follow.

"You seem tense, Reid," I say.

"I'm _fine, _Morgan," she says, "_really. _I just wish people would stop asking me that."

"someone else asked you that?" I ask.

"Hotch did," she says. "Last night. And again, I am _fine." _She emphasizes on the word fine, drawing it out to prove her point.

"Are you sure about that?" I ask, noticing her chewing on the end of her hair. She _never _does that.

"Mmm hmm," Harley replies, nodding. "Peachy."

"Peachy? Since when do you use the word peachy?"

"I... oh, look we're there," Harley says, springing out of the car immediately when we pull up to the magic shop.

"Pretty Girl-" I get out after her, following her inside.

"Not now, Morgan," she says. "We're investigating now."

Apparently Reid on edge is nervous, jumpy, chews her hair, and has almost a perky side, even though she looks like she is deathly afraid underneath it all.

"You're afraid," I say. "What are you afraid of?"

"I thought we didn't profile each other, Morgan," she glares at me, changing from nervous to angry in seconds, as if she suddenly developed a multiple personality disorder.

"Reid-"

She ignore me, skipping up to the owner of the shop to talk to him.

_Skipping? _

I have never seen Reid skip before. She's rattled off facts about skipping before, but she's never actually done it before. I didn't think she could.

What is going on with my Pretty Girl?

* * *

><p>Harley's POV<p>

The owner restates what happens to me.

"Uh, huh," I say. "Did you find anything unusual, other than the dead body? Decks of cards unwrapped, cards taken out... maybe... Joker cards?"

"No," he says. "What are you talking about, Joker cards? Surely you don't mean that psychopath from Gotham?" the man looks alarmed.

"No! I'm sure Mistah- I mean the Joker, isn't here," I say quickly. "You have _nothing _to worry about, promise. I mean, this guy's obviously not coming after you. He likes tall, blond girls in their twenties, with blue eyes and fair skin."

"Like you?" the man looks alarmed.

"Uh..."

"Reid, maybe I should take it from here," Morgan says, coming closer.

"Yeah, sure," I say.

I let Morgan take over the interrogation while I feel like an idiot. When it comes to Mistah J, I lose my nerve. I don't spout off about facts as much, I get nervous and afraid... it has to be Mistah J doing this. The note he gave me said he'd be seeing me soon, and now women who look like me are showing up dead, dressed like harlequins, in places that were always Pudding's MO to hideout in.

I bite my lip as Morgan and I leave the crime scene. There was nothing there, even after we searched it.

"All right, Reid," Morgan says. "You tell me right now: what's bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me, Morgan," I snap.

"Don't give me that," he says. "I saw that, all of it. You're nervous, you're jumpy, you're not giving out random facts... is it because these women look like you? Are you afraid, Harley?"

"I'm not afraid, Morgan," I snap. "Contrary to popular belief, I am _not weak. _I will not break over the tiniest of things; I am not a porcelien doll that is going to shatter with one hit."

"I never said-"

"Then stop acting like it!" I shout. "Everyone has always thought that about me. Well they're _wrong. Very wrong."_

He opens his mouth to reply when his phone rings.

he pulls it out and answers it. "Yeah, Hotch?"

There's a pause. "You're sure?"

Another pause.

"Okay," he says, hanging up.

"We need to get down to the autopsy center," he says.

"Why?"

"They found a note in the girl's heart," he says.

"Her heart?" I ask. It's not the first time Pudding's put a note inside someone, but he's never done the heart before.

"Yeah," Morgan says.

"What'd it say?"

"It said: 'I'm coming for you, my beautiful harlequin'," Morgan says.

Horror trickles through my veins, along with a sudden pulse of glee. It's everything I have ever wanted Mistah J to say to me, but I'm not so sure I want to hear it anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, what do you think? Good? Bad? Should I keep going? Please review!<strong>

**-DragonsintheMoonlight :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or Criminal Minds**_

Morgan's POV

"We found notes inside the other bodies' hearts as well," Hotch says. "They all have similar messages. 'I love you, harlequin.' 'You shall be mine again, my jester…' He appears to be a man who had a connection blond woman with blue eyes and fair skin."

"So where do the clowns come in?" I ask. "Was she a clown for a living? Was he?"

"Maybe it has something to do with the play _Commedia dell'arte," _JJ says. "Wasn't there a character called harlequin in there?"

"There was," Reid says. "Harlequin was a comical, astute character who often thwarted the plans of his master while pursuing his love interest Columbina. There's also Harlequin syndrome. It's a rare disease that by asymmetric sweating on the upper thoracic region of the neck, the face, and the chest. It's usually caused by gaining an injury to the sympathetic nervous system."

I can tell she doesn't believe that by looking at her. I know we're not supposed to profile each other, but I am worried about Harley right now.

"Could he have had a lover that died of this Harlequin syndrome?" Prentiss asks.

"Not likely," Reid says. "Harlequin syndrome is not debilitating. He could have had a girlfriend or wife that had it though."

She doesn't believe that; not even slightly.

"If so, why is he dressing them up like court jesters?" Rossi asks. "That has nothing to do with a disease."

"But why would he call her 'harlequin', when Harlequin's love interest was Columbia?" JJ asks.

"Columbina," Reid corrects her habitually.

"It doesn't matter as long as it makes sense to him," Hotch says, pulling out his phone. "Garcia," he says, putting it on speaker, "I need you to look up the deaths of any women that had a job as clowns. Description being tall, blond, blue eyed, and pale."

"Do you have an area that could help me narrow it down?" Baby Girl replies.

"All the victims were from here," Hotch says.

"Okay… nothing," Garcia says. "Absolutely nothing; it doesn't look like this town even has a circus."

"What about women of the same description that had or have died from Harlequin syndrome? Look for both alive and dead." Hotch says.

"Harlequin what?" Garcia says.

"Syndrome," Harley says. "It's a disease that comes from gaining an injury to your sympathetic nervous system. It makes people sweat in the upper region of their body: chest, neck, and face, causing them to appear flushed."

"Okay," Garcia says. I can hear typing through the phone. "Nothing. There are no women of that description who have or had Harlequin syndrome."

"We're missing something," Hotch says.

_Yeah, _I think, _and Reid knows what it is. Why won't she tell us?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well? What dost thee think? I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed any of my previous chapters! :) I love it when people enjoy reading my stories. Sorry this chapter is a little short; the next will be longer.<strong>

**Thanks again for reading,**

**-DragonsintheMoonlight :D**


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